October 21, 1989

On this past October 21st it marked a traumatic day

On this date of October 1989

Was the day, the disaster

After 23 years I'm still questioning why

I felt I was innocent I wish I did die

Now I still feel all my anger

I cannot control myself

I just scream and yell

As if my life had no meaning

Should I live or should I die

I've yet to know

I still wonder  "why"!!

Maybe I'm just asking too much for me

But with all my failures

I'm begging to see

I need to lay off myself

 And sit back and breathe

I'm still holding my breath

Waiting for something to happen

What am I looking for

I've been waiting so long

I'm now wondering

If I just need to play along

I've been living my life

I'll just add it I've been fake

I need to show who I am

before it's too late

DEEP RAGING ANGER

I can still feel the anger deep inside I thought I let it go but I still cry

As I cry, the memories are still there I believe the driver should’ve been punished

I'm feeling as though I'm the one being punished I’m yet to wonder why my rage it is still there

For he has shattered my dreams I'm not sure that he cares As he walked away so innocently

My rage dwells deep inside I am forever to be stuck

My body is my holding cell I'm trapped inside it won't let go Why must I live this way As I live in such rage I guess I can never say

Rehab memories so far

I realize thI poem /or song is taken from the theme song but it fit so well through my exprence  in many different rehab facilities

Wouldn't  you like.to get away with every thing you got
Wouln't you like to like away your worries
Sure would help a lot
Somtimes  you wanna to go
Where  the troubles  are all the same
And they always glad you came
You wanna go where you can go the troubles Are all the same
You wanna go where everybody knows your name

Been gone a while

Sorry I've been gone fora little while

I've just bee so busy my mind neded a rest

This morning I was picked up by a staff that works for the rehabilition facility that I in am residing with now.  Her hair looked different so I complimented her saying She looked beautiful.
She then responded thank you.Then I told here that "the truth is always there while the truth cannot be hidden"
Shen told me that was very nice to hear.
That saying just came out from me
I didn't think befor I spoke
While there are too many times
What I say is just a joke
I would try notorious talk
Because it would only lead to trouble
Because the truth is always there
While the truth cannot be hidden

Bed bugs/ thankful help

The following day were the start of a great challenge for me

I was told I had bedbugs inside my apartment

I needed to move everything I had

All of the junk and the clutter were where they belong

Of this I had no clue and had no idea where to start

The attendant care I had

Was there to help me out

They do everything for me much more than I can ask

When I tried to help they told me to sit down and relax

They seemed so professional

I told them to look for better work

But the help that they gave me

Gave them so much worth

They don’t ask for a thank you

For they’re just doing their job

I was told I should ask with nothing in return

The help that they gave me

I can only say but thank you

For this they don’t ask because they’re just doing their job